Joan Jett has a song called “Fake Friends” where she sings “You don’t lose anything when you lose fake friends.” It’s true to an extent. What you lose is the time you’ve spent making plans, hanging out with them, and confiding with them about things that are important to you. I have encountered many people that have wasted my time, so I have come up with a list of things to look out for.
First of all, if when you first go out with them and they are busy looking at the things behind you or around you guys, he or she isn’t really interested in what you have to say. Even if there is nervousness, they will meet eyes with you while you talk. I drove 20-30 minutes out of my way to meet a friend. They didn’t focus on me at all. The meeting was unimportant in their eyes.
Secondly, if you meet up somewhere for food, and he or she orders and eats their food without waiting for you, they care more about themselves that waiting for you. I was about a minute late to meeting a “friend”. This person was sitting down to a fat burrito. They said, “Oh, I hope you don’t mind I already ordered. That’s not rude is it?” The fact of the matter was that it was rude. The fact that they pointed it out meant that they knew and didn’t care.
The third thing to watch out for is have similar interests. Just because you have one thing you both like to do, let’s say biking, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with negative behavior the person does. Now, I didn’t have anyone to bike with. I really wanted bike. I ignored all the negative things they said in order to have a biking partner. This is not worth it. Wait for someone you actually like to do activities with.
Another test to see if you have (a) fake friend(s) is when you offer them a few packets of “emergency” packets for water flavor because my stomach disagrees with it, and they ask for all the packets, you have a selfish friend and possibly a fake friend too. They just want and want. You want friends who give and take as much as you do.
If someone says they don’t like drama or call themselves peaceful people, but get drunk and make fun of people behind their back, they’re being hypocritical. I had a friend one time who got in a yelling spree the weekend before. They were drunk, yelled to all her friends that they weren’t their friends anymore, and blacklisted all their numbers. I went to a concert with this person and voiced my worry that she would do the same if they drank. That time nothing happened, but the following time she slapped my face across the cheek just for touching her hat playfully. Some people and their hats, man. What is that? I was never apologized to. “It was no big deal,” she said. “I’m taking it too far,” said their roommate. I never spoke to that person again. And ignored them when I saw them at a gig I was freelancing at.
There are many more ways to find out if you have befriended a fake friend. These are just some of the few. Hopefully it will help you make your life more positive.