Ranting, Raving

Fake Friends 101

Joan Jett has a song called “Fake Friends” where she sings “You don’t lose anything when you lose fake friends.” It’s true to an extent. What you lose is the time you’ve spent making plans, hanging out with them, and confiding with them about things that are important to you. I have encountered many people that have wasted my time, so I have come up with a list of things to look out for.

First of all, if when you first go out with them and they are busy looking at the things behind you or around you guys, he or she isn’t really interested in what you have to say. Even if there is nervousness, they will meet eyes with you while you talk. I drove 20-30 minutes out of my way to meet a friend. They didn’t focus on me at all. The meeting was unimportant in their eyes.

Secondly, if you meet up somewhere for food, and he or she orders and eats their food without waiting for you, they care more about themselves that waiting for you. I was about a minute late to meeting a “friend”. This person was sitting down to a fat burrito. They said, “Oh, I hope you don’t mind I already ordered. That’s not rude is it?” The fact of the matter was that it was rude. The fact that they pointed it out meant that they knew and didn’t care.

The third thing to watch out for is have similar interests. Just because you have one thing you both like to do, let’s say biking, it doesn’t mean you have to put up with negative behavior the person does. Now, I didn’t have anyone to bike with. I really wanted bike. I ignored all the negative things they said in order to have a biking partner. This is not worth it. Wait for someone you actually like to do activities with.

Another test to see if you have (a) fake friend(s) is when you offer them a few packets of “emergency” packets for water flavor because my stomach disagrees with it, and they ask for all the packets, you have a selfish friend and possibly a fake friend too. They just want and want. You want friends who give and take as much as you do.

If someone says they don’t like drama or call themselves peaceful people, but get drunk and make fun of people behind their back, they’re being hypocritical. I had a friend one time who got in a yelling spree the weekend before. They were drunk, yelled to all her friends that they weren’t their friends anymore, and blacklisted all their numbers. I went to a concert with this person and voiced my worry that she would do the same if they drank. That time nothing happened, but the following time she slapped my face across the cheek just for touching her hat playfully. Some people and their hats, man. What is that? I was never apologized to. “It was no big deal,” she said. “I’m taking it too far,” said their roommate. I never spoke to that person again. And ignored them when I saw them at a gig I was freelancing at.

There are many more ways to find out if you have befriended a fake friend. These are just some of the few. Hopefully it will help you make your life more positive.

Love, Music, Spiritual

Pride Weekends

In honor of San Diego Pride Weekend, I’d like to post a quick summary of all the prides I’ve been to:

San Diego Pride (2006-2013)

Long Beach Pride (2 times)

Los Angeles Pride (1 time)

San Francisco Pride (2013)

Out of all the pride weekend events, I enjoyed San Francisco Pride the best. I took the train up the west coast to arrive in time for Friday night Pride kick-off. This was a kick-off unlike any I have ever experienced. Not only was I in an unfamiliar city, but I was still very new at using public transportation. When I didn’t want to walk eight blocks, I took the bart.

As I slowly crept up the stairs from the underground station to the street level, I saw the backs of dozens of people lined up around the street. They were watching what was literally a six-hour parade. There were so many floats and people walking alongside them. After some searching, I finally found a spot to stand with only three heads in front of me. Each hour each person left along with their friend/group. At about 3pm I had a front row standing position to the parade. I saw my brother march with his friend’s float in time. Everything was great.

Then I made my way towards City Hall. There isn’t any way I can describe the noise and the sights in order to prepare you for what you what experience. There were literally four or five dance floors. All of which had bass turned up all the way and then some. Every kind of person from different backgrounds and fashion styles were all dancing like their feet were indestructible and their energy unlimited.

On Saturday, every lgbt person and their friends gravitated toward Dolores Park. There is a paved road on a steep hill that you have to climb if you want to get to the good parts of the grassy park. To the left is a playground for kids. Then two rows of rolling hills where people set-up their blankets and alcohol (allowed for Pride Weekend) begins. At 10am there were a few people here and there (we were one of them). Then slowly, but surely the park was flooded with people. I have never seen that many lgbt people and friends concentrated in one area. It was great.

The thing about Long Beach Pride was that the first time I stayed over at my friend’s two-story house. We played drinking games all night. The next day’s Parade and Festival were fun, but did not go above and beyond any other city’s festivities. The second time, my friends and I rented a boat off the pier. We drank and played games again. On Saturday night, we went to a club with $10, which is pretty cheap considering it was Pride Weekend. This was also fun, but nothing too different other than where we stayed the night all weekend.

Los Angeles Pride was unique in that, I went to the Dyke March for the first time. I didn’t even know such a march even existed. It’s simply a bunch of women who identify as such marching together in solidarity. Sort of like, “Here we are. We are here together.” It was interesting.

All in all, I had a fun time each pride weekend. All the pride festivals charge $20 for regular admission with discounts for military, except San Francisco Pride. SF Pride was completely free to enjoy. They have it in their budget to hire workers to set-up stages and musicians to perform on them.

I look forward to experiencing Pride weekend at different cities. If you have never been to a Pride weekend event, you should check it out. It doesn’t matter what your background or preference is. It’s fun for all. It definitely tests your comfort zone if you have a small/select group of people you hang out with all year round. I highly recommend it.

Human Nature, Love, Social Standards, Spiritual, The Law

You’re Different. I’m Different.

Inspired by my previous blog post “Your Rush. My Rush“, I am continuing the idea that people judge other people’s preference, personality, and importance based on things that don’t matter. What I mean is that one person may say another person’s god is wrong because it’s different than their own. Why can’t we live in a world where we accept that other people view things differently? It doesn’t make them wrong. Religion is a huge hot mess of conflict. Even people who believe in the church branch out from their original church to establish one based on what they believe. Different is not wrong. It’s just different.

Why should your difference override my difference? The USA was founded upon people who wanted a new life and an escape from religious persecution. And you know what ended up happening? In Jamestown, when it was established, people were fined $20 for missing church. That was a lot of money back then. As a country, we have become the judge of what’s right or wrong on things that has nothing to do with the church or state. And I think having a law based on one person/religion/political party’s idea isn’t fair to other people with different ideas.

I’m talking about love. It’s no one’s business who loves who. It’s more important to focus on the people who are hurting other people, not loving another person no matter what their ethnic background, skin color, or spiritual beliefs are. Just because someone else’s love looks different than yours, doesn’t make it wrong. It doesn’t mean you have to love like them either.

Why do some religious and political people reject same-sex marriage? There are many theories: It goes against their special interest groups. It goes against their religion via the Bible, Quran, etc. The psychological theory is that deep down inside, they aren’t sure of themselves whether they are gay or straight. It’s always easier to follow a book or rules. Seeing someone else fully embrace themselves for who they are makes the people trapped in society’s webs jealous. If we could all get past comparing ourselves to each other we can stop competing for the right way and start competing for human equality.

Human Nature, Social Standards

Your rush. My rush.

Last Thursday Geek & Sundry hosted a live Hangout with several vloggers (video bloggers) from the recently launched vlog site. During the Hangout several cute things, obnoxious things, and strange things were said. In the midst all the geek talk, Katie Satow said some words I took immediately to heart. She was talking about how ignorant some people can be in her little desert of a town somewhere in Canada. She said, “How do you know if your rush is more important than my rush?” Which is a completely valid question. One that we should each ask ourselves.

Let’s talk about the rush. The rush of everyone going where they are going. There isn’t enough time in the world to do everything. So why do some people drive fast in their cars? Why are the drivers of those cars completely oblivious to other cars. Are they late? Are they impatient? Are they apathetic to the other cars around them? I don’t know.

All I know is that I don’t like to rush. Even if I’m late, I just like to arrive when I arrive. When cars are behind me driving close to the back of my car, I begin to stress. I don’t know why they don’t just pass me on the right. Someone once told me that there are drivers who like to annoy other drivers like that. Somehow it proves that they are better than you. And that’s what all this is about. Their rush is more important that yours.

The way the question was put into words struck the right cord with me. I never thought about other people getting in my way because they thought the world revolved around them. See my previous blog “The Revolving World“. I thought they were merely impatient or speed freaks. This layer of ignorance has opened up a new perspective for me. Next time I see someone who gets in my way be it on the road or crossing paths, I will chalk it up to their ignorance towards other people. It won’t make it less annoying, but it’ll help me accept it more quickly and move on. So thank you Katie Satow for your words of wisdom. You can follow her on Twitter under her name @BeautyArmory and you can find the other vloggers on Twitter @GeekandSundry and their videos on YouTube with the same name.

Ranting, Raving

The Revolving World

The world does not revolve around you or me. It revolves and we’re in it. While I can control how I react to stimuli it may be the only thing I can control. When it comes to planning, I don’t like to plan. Plans change. I like to play by ear, so when someone asks me what time? what time? It becomes a pain in the butt to plan things depending on the person.

Conflicts of schedule come up: I have to meet a client, my family is having a get together (and mom won’t change it. You’ve been there), etc.

When I say I’ll be somewhere, I’ll be there. I cannot decide three days in advance what time exactly. And trying to get a time out of me doesn’t help at all. It makes me not want to go at all. I have a theory that people want an exact time, so they can get others locked into the plan. Even if some conflict of schedule did occur, they are mad regardless because people have already locked themselves into this plan.

When either of my siblings are three hours late to dinner, it’s okay. My mom is just glad they are there. I get that. So why do I have to pick a time when I know they are going to get there when they are going to get there. Why can’t I just get there when I get there. Am I being treated differently because I don’t have a husband and kids? Well, I certainly didn’t choose that route. I still shouldn’t have to live by someone else’s choices. I understand why they are late. I just want to be able to do the same. My brother has work or is getting a ride from a friend. He has to wait until he gets off work or wait until his friend is ready to drive him. Other good reasons to be late. Whereas I had plans to go hiking. I have my own car. I don’t have anything keeping me from being late except my own plans. So why am I expected to give out all my plans three days in advanced that I don’t even know myself. I’m not going to make a commitment to a certain time. And if I’m late I just want the same forgiveness.

The world doesn’t revolve around you and I. We have to live life moment by moment. We should not have to be locked into a schedule forced upon us by someone else. If you want to make a living doing a 8am-5pm job to pay for that house, that’s your prerogative. Just don’t put all your stress on me because I chose a much simpler life.


Music on the Web

I’m a 1984 baby. I was born two years after music was layered onto compact discs in 1982 (1). Now it’s 2013 with various music websites that give it’s audience unique ways of listening to music. Last.fm was the first music station I signed up with. I liked this website because I could keep up with concert dates and when bands were going to be local. Then I signed up with Pandora to create playlists based on one artist I say I like. The other artists they chose has 50/50 of being one I like and one I don’t feel anything for…because music is something you feel because of the emotion you share or the emotion you see and feel in the lyrics and music. Even though, I don’t like all the songs they suggest based on one artist, I still feel triumphet when I hear one song I must have the mp3 to or buy the whole album it belongs to.

Recently, my brother told me about Spotify. It’s another music website, except that it plays any song whenever you want. This sounds fantastic. Except, I already have one more music website that I want. I just want one that does everything.

If there is a new website that can tell me when bands have their concerts, create playlists based on similar artists to my favorite artists, and play songs at anytime, I would sign up for that one and throw away the rest. I don’t really want to add a third music website.

In the scope of the whole internet, I already signed up for several social websites and media websites. I don’t want anymore than I need. As for now I am waiting to sign up for Spotfiy because I don’t want another account to log into and create an unique and specific password to. It is too much to remember. I have other things I need to concentrate on.

With that all in mind, I think Spotify sounds like the best of the three music websites, but I’d still like to know when my favorite bands will play locally.

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compact_discs

The Law

Stamps & Post Office

I was on my way to do some tasks for my mother. Then some things I had to pick up for myself too too. I never thought I would come close to changing someone’s life as I was today. I was merely making a left turn when all cars in oncoming traffic was stopped at a red light. Then I hit a motorcyclist. His bike was under my car and he was on my hood.

I took a motorcycle class almost a year ago. I knew how dangerous it was to ride a motorcycle. I had lectures, tests, and videos. I saw everything I could see. At least, that is what I thought.

In California and in New Mexico, there is a understood rule that motorcycles can “share the lane” while cars are moving or “filter” while all traffic is stopped. I was in traffic that was at a complete halt. As I was making my left turn, the motorcyclist rode towards me, and that was the end of it.

I could have killed someone today. It breaks my heart. When I saw the guy standing on two feet and help guiding my car away from traffic, I let go of the breath I was holding. We exchanged insurance information. He checked my car. I checked his bike. We let the insurance companies figure out the damages.

Everything is settled at the moment. The only thing I don’t understand about the law of California is that motorcyclists can ride between lane one and two in order to relieve traffic and avoid their bike from being hit by a car from behind. It still doesn’t help the fact that I cannot see him when I am already making my left turn. He is allowed to ride ten miles per hour faster than the current traffic no matter what I am doing because I am supposed to yield to all oncoming traffic.

I agree that I am supposed to yield to all oncoming traffic, but how am I supposed to do that if I can’t see them. The guy was in my blind spot. The DMV handbook of 2010 states that it isn’t safe for motorcyclists to “share the road” or “filter” in traffic, but that it is also legal to do so. How do I contend with that? It also says that if you are in this sort of accident that you will have a difficult time fighting it.

That is why when I hear that the motorcyclist dropped the claim, my heart was relieved. My policy would not go up. I made several checks on the road to make sure everything was clear and still I failed. I thank that motorcyclist for his compassion. I am glad his bike went away without a scratch. My lesson in this is the costs I have to make repairing the front end of my vehicle.

My confidence in my driving has sunk to an all-time low. Even though, I did the necessary checks, I was not ready for what happened. I have learned a great deal from this. One of such that you don’t want to run into a motorcycle in California (or in New Mexico) because the law is on their side.

Now I have hundreds of people who have seen this incident happen. They think I am a horrible driver or that “it just happened”. I can only focus on those people who think I am a horrible driver. The ones who have only seen this once incident out of the 11 years I have been driving. They won’t know how sorry I was. They won’t know all the things I was dealing with at the time. All they will know is what they saw me do. That can lead to so many negative things. I have to take the time I have now to learn not to think of them and just focus on being better.